Turn the Gears for the Yule Ball
by Jack Kings
Summary: If muggles find wizards strange, what do wizards find strange? The answer is, obviously, aliens but steampunk robots built back in 1896 with the programming to play music is a close second. This is Steam Powered Giraffe(look it up) at the Hogwarts Yule Ball.


**Do I really have to remind anyone that I don't own anything except the chair I'm sitting on to write this? Even then, I just might lose that because these take so long.**

**For those unaware, I am a HUGE fan of Steam Powered Giraffe and the lore created for the characters. I'm not going to dive into too much but, just in case, it's probably best to watch a few videos and listen to some songs to at least get a decent understanding of the personalities of the robots and any other character. The band that Hogwarts will hear were built from metal and gears.**

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"The Yule Ball was certainly a beautiful sight" is the least someone could say about it. No, there were no words that could describe it's magnificence; however, even "magnificence" is putting it nicely. The students, as well as the teachers, were dancing with their partners, the music was beautiful, the atmosphere was breathtaking, a few students were just watching on by the tables, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley were there in what appeared to be a sour mood, but that couldn't detract from the beyond well-being that was agreed upon by Dumbledore himself and would make the night of each and everyone present a wonderfully memorable night. Nothing could go wrong.

At least, that's what Professor Flitwick hoped could have been thinking right now if an owl hadn't handed him a letter from the Weird Sisters telling him that, "_ unforeseen complications arose"_ and so they won't be able to perform tonight. This wouldn't be too bad, it would only make the night a tiny bit more forgettable, because, of course, there were contingency plans in place. Surrogate bands, if you will. And, of course, Murphey's law decreed that they would all be preoccupied to come out tonight. No wizard rock band will be able to perform at the glorious, most delightful night where all wizards put conflict aside to dance for thrill, passion, and love in the place known as the Yule Ball! Well, all can't perform... except one band.

The catch is that the reactions of everyone present and their behavior would be varied. The band's behavior that is. Oh well, it's as an old friend would have said: when life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and then sit back as the entire world wonders why and how you could do it. At least, that's what one of the reviews on their title card describes their performances. He then proceeded to get in contact with them and, through the constant chatter of both the ball guests and the band themselves, was able to send a message stating that their services would be required. The band was more than happy-neigh, **ecstatic** to be able to perform for the entire evening. He is, of course, wary of the situation but the headmaster himself was the one to recommend this band so...

Marching up to the stage, he shouted into the megaphone, "Attention! May I have everyone's attention please?" and suddenly the eyes of the students of Hogwarts, Durmstrang, Beauxbaton, and professors alike were on him. Although some were more engrossed in their conversations, he announced, "Now, due to unforeseen circumstances, the band that would need no introduction will not be performing for the evening."

And as expected, those who had been attentive had created a chorus of "Aww", No!", and "COME OOONNN!". Despite this, however, the tiny professor continued, "Now, this doesn't suggest that there will be no entertainment because there _shall_ be. Courtesy of Professor Dumbledore," the man in question nodded, humbly, "we shall be in store for a ceremonious yet surreal experience for the rest of the evening. There will be music which, according to them, shall bring forth a sense of nostalgia and allow us to see into the future," Trelawney furrowed her eyebrows at this, " as some of the songs they perform don't exist yet." Most students and teachers had expressions of confusion that indicated a struggle in bringing logic to that last statement. Dumbledore, however, simply rolled his twinkling eyes with a small smile of fondness(?) as the tiny professor took out his wand, "Now, without further ado..."

He pointed his wand and a tiny light burst through and on the large windows appeared two large, rectangular boxes. That's what they appeared to be to a wizard but the Muggle-borns saw two large tellies. It was rather... strange, almost alien, to see a digital television in a school which has the likes of talking letters, people turning birds into chalices, and humans into ferrets. And yet, there they were...

The stage had turned into something of an old vaudeville stage with tan colored walls, orangish-red and yellow lights, and a sign overhead with words that couldn't be read due to the neon lights not being on. Beneath it all, 6 human shapes in black and red clothing occupied the stage and their faces obscured by shadows. It seemed as though they had yet to have noticed their new surroundings as they were in a conversation about...

...um...

"I can clearly see it now: hormones are radiating off of the majority of the population. Can we still play with all of that radiation?"

"I really don't see why we're having this conversation or why you're fascinated with this Hatch-."

"I want to go through that awkward phase in my life!"

"Going by what the Walters told me, I really don't think you do Ra-"

"Yeah, why can't we radiate hormones?"

"Well, for one: that takes aging which none of us can do Ze-"

"I hate the sound of voice cracks anyway."

"-And B: We were built as adults so..."

"I mean I can tolerate your voice cracks most of the time."

"Yes, that's nice The J-, wait, what? My voice doesn't crack-"

"Um, The Spi-"

"Now, just wait for a millisecond, before anyone interrupts me again, at least let me finish saying somebody's name so it doesn't come off as some forced attempt at a weak buildup to an unnecessarily disappointing payoff to the reveal of our names Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana-fanna Bobesca XVI or more commonly known as Up-!"

Dumbledore had let off a series of small but loud fireworks from his wand which got the six performers attention, although their faces were still shrouded in shadows, and all was quiet for a few seconds. Very quiet. ...Uncomfortably quiet... The mysterious performers were also just as still and quiet and it was starting to become rather creepy. The teachers and students at least shifted a little bit, there was some form of movement. Fidgeting or twitching or looking around to their peers, it was there. The performers were just standing completely still in their places. None of what was previously mentioned from the wizards were present in them; which is why it was a little(and by that, I mean "extremely")uncomfortable. It quickly shifted to, what can only be described as, comically frightening when one of them who appeared to be wearing a bowlers hat and had a glowing blue circle in his chest looked to his left and right with sounds emanating as he did so and shrieked "**OH CRAP! IT'S TIME FOR THE SHOW!**"

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**That's where I leave it. **

_But Jack! Why don't you write about the songs, the jokes, and the hats?_

**That's a good question Rabbit and the answer to that is like so: I had planned to do more but I want to leave Steam Powered Giraffe fans to use their imaginations.**

_But Jack! What if they don't have that either?_

**Rabbit...then they can look up the songs, the jokes, and go BUY A HAT!**

**As you can imagine, there were references that only SPG fans; also, an Animaniacs reference, too, so have fun with that!**

**Before I close out, SPG fans, please take a second to imagine the band getting situated at the Yule Ball and then the first song they play is their cover of "**_Harder Better Faster Stronger"_** only imagine if Upgrade, The Jon, and Zero joined in. Alright, from there you can choose which songs of theirs should play for the entertainment of the wizards. Until then... **


End file.
